Christmas Time, Different Love, Work Buddies

In this Christmas edition, find out what we are doing this year, along with why you must not care for love advice and what you must not do when you become a boss! Read on…

Christmas is that time of the year when life takes a turn and completes a full circle. It’s like the climactic moment that sums up the year in a nutshell. On Christmas, you want to forget cares and worries, you want to ignore the work pending for you, you want to connect with those friends that you have lost touch with. There’s no better time to connect with your family. It’s true that some of us may not be able to go home, but that doesn’t mean that we feel any less a part of our family.

Christmas this year will be a private affair for us. Adrian, Megan and Steve will join me for a dinner on Christmas Eve. We are also planning to play monopoly through the night, like we used to when we were younger! This Christmas will be a throwback to the initial days of our friendship together. Eleanor and Frank will, of course, celebrate Christmas with their family. Kate is going home with Henry. It will a meet-the-parents thing for them. Our Christmas wish is that things fall in place for this couple!

In this age of living in a global village, most of our friends and family live in different hemispheres. But Christmas is one event of the year when we all feel as if we are staying under the same roof. Whether we have the time on other days or not, during Christmas you feel this nostalgic urge to touch base with all those members of your extended family and pals. You remember those years when you were together for Christmas. It’s not a very pleasant feeling to look back, but fond memories always get to you in one way or the other.

I have friends all over the world, friends like you, who are connected to me through these newsletters. We may not meet and hang out like you do with your other friends, but there’s a strong connection between us. I feel that bond most when I’m down and out. The positive energy that your presence gives me rejuvenates my sagging spirits. I feel comfortable sharing the stories of my life and those around me. It’s like I have a family of silent listeners, paying careful and empathetic attention to what I have to say. Thank you, everyone, for this special privilege!

Megan was telling me about some dating site that she checked out lately. That got us talking about the kind of relationship advice and counselling that you find online. Megan asked me, “Do you really take these romantic words of support seriously?” I saw a point there. You are an individual and your love story is unique. I have always believed that every relationship is different from the others, even if they are in the same domain. Even your love for your partner is different from what your partner feels for you.

That is because we are different from each other as human beings. Our tastes and preferences may match, but deep down in our hearts, we are separate. We love with varying degrees of emotion. Your own relationships are not the same. You may have loved your lost love way more than you can ever love anyone. The best way is to listen to your heart. Look for wisdom within you. Ask yourself questions. No dating expert knows you or your love story better than you do.

Friendship at work is a tricky situation. Matters are more complicated when you are working in a team and you get promoted. That’s when you feel torn between your new responsibility and your loyalty to your peers, the ones who withered storms with you. Because you are the one promoted, the dynamics of the new relationship is on you. You have to set the benchmarks and tackle the situation of being pally and at the same time get the work done as their immediate superior.

Ryan, the techie who has the zaniest ideas I have heard in a corporate context, says that it’s impossible for you to be a boss if you are friendly with your reports from Day One. He suggests starting off on a serious note and a gradual thawing. “If you are planning to hang out with them after work, forget it!” Ryan says offhandedly. He also advises caution for bosses during office parties and holiday bashes. “After an evening of crazy drinking, don’t think your subordinates will take you seriously again!” Point noted, Ryan!

Here’s a Alexander Smith quote that reiterates the point I made earlier: “Christmas is the day that holds all time together.”