Boss’ Notes, Sweetest Ways, Saying “No”

This week we will appreciate a boss who guides his team like a mentor. Also, read how a distraught mother tackles her child, how you need to learn to say “No” and what to keep in mind before moving in…

How often do you have a boss providing tips and suggestion to his employees so that they can surge ahead in their careers? Steve is one of those bosses who take a personal interest in helping his interns and team members to do well in life. The best part about Steve and his mentoring is that he doesn’t limit his teachings to just this present job. He imparts skills that they can benefit from at any point in life. Steve always says, “Don’t catch fish for them. Teach them fishing!”

At a recent gathering, Steve decided to give his team a run-down on how to handle themselves professionally. Steve is concerned how social networking sites are playing a role in the work atmosphere. Any prospective employer looks you up online. Steve was talking to them about cleansing their online profile pages and weeding out everything that may raise an unfavorable impression on their future bosses. “It’s your page, true,” Steve said, “but if you want that job, you have to be acceptable and agreeable.”

When you run up against a road block, like a child who won’t listen to you or take no for an answer, you will have to think of something imaginative and innovative. That’s exactly what Andrew’s mother Lisa is doing. Eleanor was telling me the other day that Andrew is very stubborn when you refuse him something. Lisa struggled with it for some time before turning to Eleanor for help. Eleanor advised her to refuse indirectly and use other euphemisms of saying “No”.

Providing reasons like safety and taking the names of doctors and teachers deter Andrew from doing something wrong. If he is not brushing his teeth, Lisa tells him that the doctor said he must. If Andrew wants to buy something from the store, his mother tells him that it’s not for sale and is just decoration! Such attempts may come off as not ideal, but Lisa is aware that these methods are for his good. When he begins to see reason, these can be disposed of. Eleanor has to be credited for the ingenuity!

We fail to understand that being a ‘yes-man’ isn’t always ideal. It leads to unnecessary stress and often we fail to realize that how much extra we have piled on our plate simply because we couldn’t refuse something. Your friends are always asking you this and that and you cannot refuse them. Similarly, at work, you can hardly afford to bypass the task that lands at your desk just when you are about to leave! You have no choice here but to curse beneath your breath and get cracking.

But to keep your sanity intact, you have to turn things down. You have to make allowances for yourself. You have to carve out that ‘me’ time when all you care about is yourself. I have noted, of late, that unless you judge things and turn away from the less important ones, you can never breathe easy. In the chaos, you may find yourself not being able to do justice to anything. So it’s always a better idea to do less but do it well. Put your foot down once in a while. It will make life easier.

Moving in happens to be just the tip of the iceberg. As every couple who moved in during this millennium would know, love cannot sustain a relationship alone. You have to make room for other lesser noble aspects of a relationship like sorting out finances and dividing the household chores. Without the right kind of framework, the process of cohabitation will bite the dust before you know. Bitter quarrels wait just around the bend if you are not taking the correct steps initially.

I’m talking about this because Kate’s boyfriend Henry has finally got a transfer. He’s moving to New York from Iowa. It’s obvious that he will be moving in with Kate. The long-distance couple is over the moon that they are finally going to share a household. The romantic Kate doesn’t want to talk about anything else except the excitement of when it’s finally going to happen. However, Henry is making sure they have everything planned out before they share their lives in a no-holds barred way. Here’s wishing them good luck!

Here’s a Charles Erwin Wilson quote for the good and the not-so-good bosses around: “A good boss makes his men realize they have more ability than they think they have so that they consistently do better work than they thought they could.”