Salute Veterans, Kind Deeds, Friendship Blues

This week we talk about a veteran whose only companion now is depression. How does it feel to do planned acts of kindness? Plus, read about a relationship and a friendship on the rocks.

All of you might be wondering why I didn’t talk about Fred all this while. The reason is that he’s been keeping a low profile, only occasionally meeting friends and family. Despite the healthy optimism that he carries in his wallet, Fred does feel a little defeated these days. He wanted to bring about some significant changes in his own little way. But when you are swimming against the tide, you are bound to feel drained and disillusioned about your struggle. That’s when doubt creeps in and gnaws away at your mind.

Fred wonders aloud if all the conflict and the shattered dreams actually came to a fruitful conclusion. He wants to know if his sacrifices and endeavors are making it count at lease on some shallow level. But there is no one with the answers. Sometimes the questions are so complete in themselves that the answers seem redundant. As we come to another Veterans Day, probably the time has come for us to do something to cheer up these war veterans. It’s our turn to do something for them.

We are aware of random acts of kindness. We often tell each other to do some of them to be happy. It works for sure, but if you have noted closely, it often surprises the receiver. The reactions can be extreme and completely contrary to what you have expected. For example, if a person came up and hugged you at random, that wouldn’t be comfortable for many. It takes some ingenuous planning to do the right kind of kindness – something that will reach out and make the right impact.

There are times at the workplace when you are less occupied than the person working next to you. What if you offered to share some of the work load? Surely that would not be a random act because you have carefully thought about this move. You wouldn’t want to hurt your work schedule to inject some happiness into your life in such a manner. However, this calculated move will not just earn you brownie points from your colleagues, but also soar your joy to considerable heights.

There is some trouble brewing between Kate and Henry since he moved in to New York. Apparently after a couple of weeks, Henry is acting strange. He comes home late everyday and turns every discussion into an argument. Kate is worried that their long distance relationship was better suited for her than these daily conflicts. It’s like their geographical distance shrunk down only to create an even greater interpersonal distance. The love seems to have evaporated all of a sudden, leaving them rugged and wounded.

Kate is suspecting that Henry may have fallen out of love with her. We are trying to make her understand that it’s probably the work pressure and the move that has unsettled him. But Kate strongly feels the scent of another woman in his new life. And judging from circumstances, it looks like his new love is somewhere in his office, if at all. You know how women feel about such issues. Once they are convinced, only proof can disarm them. We are hoping Kate is not right this time.

Can you always accept what your ‘best friend forever’ does? It surely seems impossible because you are an individual with certain ideas and perceptions. It is only natural that you will erupt into differences of opinion with someone you interact with on a regular basis. There are every chances that what you think may be the exact opposite to what your best pal thinks. That is when there is a conflict of interest. Then on, it depends on you whether you want to mend bridges or demolish them altogether.

Megan had a bad run-in with such an incident lately. Irina wrote something really crappy on her social networking page. It’s a private joke that they share and have a good laugh. Megan didn’t expect in the least that Irina would put that on a public platform. “I really didn’t want people to know about it,” Megan told me, “And there it was plastered on my page with several comments beneath it!” This hurt Megan deeply and she withdrew into a shell. Irina is still pondering where she went wrong!

Here’s a Saint Francis de Sales quote for our friends: “A quarrel between friends, when made up, adds a new tie to friendship.”