Thanking Folks, Live Twice, Best Friends

A friend goes down memory lane this Canadian Thanksgiving. Also, read about a woman who’s fought it out, how to live life twice and how friends can be there for each other. Join me…

Steve is missing folks back in Canada. What he regrets most is that despite the modern privileges of communication, he misses out on connecting with friends and folks. “They must surely hate me,” Steve shook his head. As Canadian Thanksgiving came closer. I assured him that it was just a figment of imagination that is tinged with guilt. “All you got to do is reach out,” I told him, “And it’s never too late to do that!” Steve decided to listen to me and touch base with all his friends and family back home.

However, it is easier said than done. Looking back can be a magical experience and sometimes, extremely draining emotionally. Memory is a strange beast. It makes you smile over the days you cried in the past and cry about those incidents which had made you laugh. Steve wanted to pen down small ‘Thank You’ notes for people who matter to him. But when he sat down to write them, he found that there was an avalanche of memory showering down on him. Later, Steve told me, “I never knew these lying there in me.” Do any of us really know?

Donna was in flashback mode after work. We were waiting in our cubicle going over something when we saw Clara, the single mom who does temp for us at times, wrap up work and leave in a hurry. We know Clara has a 3-year old waiting for her. This made Donna nostalgic. “You know, Bob,” Donna said, “There was a time when Ethan and Emily were waiting for me, too. It was very different then.” I understood what Donna meant. Though she just said it was ‘different’ actually it was maddening. It’s not easy to handle a high-pressure job with two kids fighting for your attention.

Though I have seen Donna manage life from close quarters, I’m always tempted to ask how she could balance everything. Donna spoke with a faraway look in her eyes, “I remember allowing my children to watch TV as I got work done. No matter what the experts say, TV and video games sometimes are a life saver!” The digital media may have been of help, but there’s no denying the fact that Donna did more than what seems possible at face value. When you look at Ethan and Emily today, you can safely say that her efforts have paid off.

It isn’t over, unless it is actually so. You can say that for edge-of-the-seat thrillers and also for the evergreen Eleanor. Eleanor believes that one must never quit living. You may think that there is not much meat in that and you have heard that umpteen times before. But the fact is, have you followed it? You need not be of Eleanor’s age to realize that days are whipping past you. Every single day that you spend in ideal and trivial pursuit is a day subtracted from the time you can utilize in doing something meaningful – something that adds value to your life.

Eleanor told me something very interesting the other day. She said, “Remember how your high school mates wrote in your farewell diary – ‘Never Change!’? That’s exactly what you should do!” Eleanor went on to tell me how important it is to reinvent oneself every single day. “Stagnation is suicide,” Eleanor believes strongly. True to what she preaches, you can find Eleanor active and on the go at all times. It’s a great privilege to observe her life force from such close quarters. Eleanor does live life queen size!

There is something about the friendship between Kate and Irina that makes me feel that they will go the distance. I have observed some friendships from close quarters over the years. Many of them start with a bang but fizzle out over time. When Kate and Irina hit it off, they were not as you would expect inseparable friends to be. Kate was busy with work and Irina jumped from one fashion store to another. However, when anyone hit a rough patch, you would find the other handing out tissues as the other shed copious tears.

Kate and Irina are not the friends who would hang out every weekend. Neither can you see them hit the store to shop together. But you can invariably see Kate tow Irina to buy clothes because Irina is the resident fashionista for friends here. In the same way, you would expect Kate provide some sensible advice to the impulsive Irina, who has a penchant for getting into trouble every alternative day. It’s a friendship that has no frills or drama, but is rock steady and continues to be so.

Here’s an Oscar Wilde quote for those who intend to thank but hesitate, much like Steve: “The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.”