As I was walking in the by lanes of New York inhaling the autumn breeze , the smell of dry leaves, ripe pumpkins, steaming java, fading cologne, blooming flowers hung in the air. My thoughts wavered from work, to grocery, to philosophy, to the dinner I am going to prepare tonight and I wondered about my mind capacity to be everywhere at one time and yet not be where it ought to be.

Lately Aaliyah and I were going through the undulated pastures of love. She felt I was being too obsessive about her and to some extent I knew it was true. I was leaning on her way too much. It was almost an addiction to be with her.

How do you feel when you hang on to someone desperately? Have you noticed the more you chase somebody the more the distance arises between you both?

Relationship is a seesaw … you can trip it if you don’t find the perfect balance. Being intensely passionate or overly indifferent would falter your relationship for sure. Don’t be an extremist and harmonize all relationships by being in the middle path.

Last weekend, I happened to meet a divine and angelic being in a seminar. She is the ambassador for the embassy of peace, president of the Global Congress of Spiritual Scientists and has authored 38 books in 18 different languages, travelled across the globe to over 33 countries for over 20 years spreading the message of love and positivity. The most remarkable and miraculous feat which left me in reverence is the fact that she lives on pure love and light vibrations and has no need for consuming any physical food. For over two decades she hasn’t eaten a single morsel of physical food. Alongside she is also a loving wife, a doting mother and an affectionate grandmother. Jas Jasmuheen who is currently writing a book called, The True Beloved, looked at me with her soft eyes and smiled brilliantly.

I asked her, Why do we get addicted to people and emotions? Where is the true love we keep seeking all our lives?

She said serenely, “You seek because you have the inner knowingness that there is more .The awareness of pure joy makes you restless and you start looking for it everywhere. People who get addicted are sensitive. They have tasted the nectar once and are not aware of its true source so they get lost in an endless search and often get fixated to the objects of admiration.”

She smiled along with me and said, “The only addiction worth having is the addiction to divine love. You have to believe you are worthy of the greatest love. You have to stop being a creeper and crave for it in external relationships. You must find the source of endless love within yourself, make the commitment with yourself first and choose to exist in the state of divine marriage within yourself and then from here create human relationships, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife because it is from this space you can truly love and appreciate each other unconditionally.

We are not grabbing and taking and hoping for some external reality to fulfill us, when everything which can gratify us is inbuilt within us. Nagging and constant judging drives people away. When we judge one another it is like poison on a garden bed, everything shrinks, the more we can love unconditionally from the endless source the more we are nourishing the garden humanity.

Every morning look in the mirror and repeat to yourself, “I love you!” several times. When you stay in the state of joy and love you are nourished and you can truly nurture others and if you are grumpy and gloomy you drain yourself and others.”

I paused and absorbed the profound learning and felt overwhelming love rising within me, washing away all my preconceptions and filling me with the sweet nectar of happiness which is conveniently accessible whenever I turn inward.