Father’s Day, Butterfly Effect, Summer Fun

This week we celebrate Father’s Day! Also, we have a butterfly effect idea up in store for you. Along with that, we share a dating trend that you might find in your little love story as well! And finally, some ways in which you can make more of the Summer this year around!

Communication is the key to any relationship. We know it well. The irony is that despite knowing so, we shy away from communicating with people we love most. I can say the same about my relationship with my dad. In my teenage years, there were a number of times when he inspired me, injected optimism in my heart and made me feel that there was always a cushion to break my fall. The best part about him was that he never stepped in unless I called out for him. It was an unwritten contract between us: he knew that I wouldn’t ask him to solve my problems unless I couldn’t do anything about it myself. I knew that whatever it was, I can depend on him to ease it out for me if it so demanded.

Looking back at all those years, the only regret I have is not having told him how much his support meant to me. Then it felt superfluous and somewhat mushy. Now I feel that I have missed the bus. Down the years, I don’t even remember those little moments that forge a relationship. When I was wondering what to do this Father’s Day, I decided to write a letter to him. I don’t know the content of the letter yet. The only thing I know is, it will require more than the minuscule writing skills I have to compose something that encapsulates the most treasured times of my life. Thanking someone as special as him and spilling over those unsaid emotions on a keyboard is not going to be easy. If you have something to share with your old man, now is the time. Go ahead!

At times all it takes to make a huge difference is to initiate a small change. In these days of social networking, there are many friends on your profile page that you have added at different points in time. Some could be your professional contacts, some are high school friends, some are just random adds. How many of them do you actively touch base with on a regular basis? The answer for most would be that you have not heard from many of them since they got added! At your end of the bargain, you have not written anything to them or posted a single comment ever. That’s because you are busy with your lives and strangely find yourself connecting online with those who are part of your daily lives offline. It’s a rather strange trend but we do leave messages and mails for people we meet personally in the course of a day. The wonders of digital communication, I guess!

The trick to get out of this self-created shell is to make a move. Connect with that friend today. Do it now. That will prompt your friend to reply back and probably do the same to another friend. It would be really nice if people pick this up like a Mexican wave at soccer stadiums! I know it’s a bit of a wishful thinking, but what are dreams if they are not impossible at face value? People call is the butterfly effect. That’s when a lot of good happens in a chain set off by a seemingly insignificant event like the fluttering of the wings of a butterfly. You may be disappointed to find out that your chosen friend never responded back. But never give up on hope. Being the trend-setter, you will have to face the initial hurdles. If you have the fire in you to start something that has not been done before, you will definitely not mind the hiccups on the way. Pass the smile!

Summer is finally here! We wait around for summer for this annual visit. I just love to sniff the morning air in summer. There is this wonderful zing to everything around. When I came to New York from Pasadena, I used to love the summer months. Things changed over the years, but my love for these special months of the year remained the same. When I was young, my sister Liz and I used to go out camping and spent some really good time with friends. I tried to keep that up here in NYC though Liz couldn’t join me since she got married. Rachael is a different person altogether, very unlike her mom! Liz is adventurous and sporty, while her daughter is more urban and likes to spend time in malls and locked indoors. You could say that for many teenagers out there. There isn’t much of outdoor activity that interests them anymore. I see it in Donna’s children, Ethan and Emily, as well. They like their XBox 360 and Nintendos, thank you!

I was sharing my thoughts with my own gang of friends. Adrian and Rick supported me most vocally, because they did all that I did in summer during their teens. The girls, Megan and Kate, spoke in favor of spending time indoors as part of an individual choice. Megan said, “Well, it’s all about what I like more! If I want to curl up with a good book, surely you can’t grudge me that because I don’t want to bike all over the countryside!” Point taken! Rick, however, was not so gallant about it. When he believes in something, he will go to any length to prove his point and have his way. He told Megan, “Okay, we plan a biking trip down to the beach. You come with us. See if you enjoy it more than reading that book of yours!” Megan agreed to the challenge. I and Adrian praised Rick’s ingenuity at having made a biking plan without even making anyone realize so! So that’s that! We are heading to the beach real soon! Stay tuned for that update!

Adrian and Cathy are dating for some time now. I have been witness to many of their dating stories and so have the regular readers of these newsletters. But I have not shared a particular pattern that I have observed in their love story. In fact, it occurred to me only lately. When they started going out, I noted that they relied on text messages rather than on voice calls. When I recollected my own relationship with Sarah, I realized how heavily I was dependent on texting as the dominant mode of communication. What could have prompted this text frenzy when voice calls could have made more sense rationally? I mean, we all know how much you have this urge to keep talking to your special someone even though the phone bill is probably shooting way beyond what you can afford to spend!

I asked Adrian about it. He said, “I figure it’s because then you don’t really know each other and texts give you a sort of a shield!” I put the same question across to Sarah. I knew she would have an opinion that was on a perspective that’s more deep, to put it in an understated way. Sarah said that when people meet, they obviously want to put their best foot forward. That way, texts become more handy. “You can hide those little imperfections that go glaringly obvious in a voice call – like a gruff voice or the wrong tone! You can mask all of these in a text message,” Sarah added. I agree with both of them to a large extent. I also feel that texting gives you the time to come up with a witty repartee that can get you brownie points as a person with a keen sense of humor. When you are comfortable with each other, you move towards voice calls because both of you have more things to share by then.

To sign off this Father’s Day edition, we have a Jim Valvano quote that I can relate to. I’m sure you would relate to it too: “My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.”