Friends’ Meet, Stress Beaters, Connect Addict

This week we talk about meeting friends, about the going head over heels and about kicking the habit of too much addiction to cell phones. Join me…

When you are in your teens, you agreed to bike a long way to meet your pals. Over the years, the drive to go out of your way to meet a friend eroded away. In your professional lives, you are so ensconced in your daily lives that you can hardly think of carving out some time for friends. And when you finally decide to do that, you find your friend is asking you to meet downtown. That would meet commuting and the very thought of it dissolves your wish to catch up with a long-time friend.

This stalemate is the reason why many friendships have suffered and many meets were canceled at the last minute. This is something that we all contribute to, to feed our convenience. We have to fight it before it obliterates all those memorable hang-outs from our memories. The next time you guys plan to meet and the time or venue is not to your convenience, think twice before pulling the plug on it. Life is not always kind and your friendship may not just pull through.

When you meet a person and develop a soft spot for him, it’s natural to expect that your object of interest cares for you, too. But it’s not always true! It may be that the person you have the hots for may not reciprocate your feelings in equal measure. I’m not saying that he’s totally indifferent. I’m saying if he’s not thinking on the lines that you are doing, there is no reason to be disappointed! It may be that the person you have fallen for will take some time to catch up with you.

I was explaining this peculiar love chemistry to Megan the other day. Megan met someone and is texting him only to receive nothing as an acknowledgement, let alone a reply. Megan asked me if she should continue texting. I advised her against it. During the initial stages of a possible courtship, you must never let your flame feel that you are needy. That is a big turn-off. Rather, I told her, allow him to think it over and if he’s okay with it, he will respond. Megan has her fingers crossed on that!

Have you ever noted that the stress-relieving methods advocated by the self-proclaimed experts are always hard to follow? I must admit that I tried to incorporate several of them in my routine, but none seemed practical enough. Surely if you are working extra hours and then you have the household chores to tend to, you cannot expect to wake up early and practice tai chi. There must be something you can do without allowing these stress relievers to add to your stress of digging out time for something extra!

I asked Eleanor what she thought of this craze for stress relieving measures that demanded time and energy. Eleanor agreed to what I had to say. Then she said, “The best way to let your hair down is to enjoy everything you do!” Eleanor said that work becomes a stress only when you take it as something you ‘have’ to do. It’s just that frame of mind that makes all the difference. I tried this out and frankly speaking, it does make a difference. You can give it a shot, too!

We know that texting away at the dinner table with your family around you is bad manners. But is it a wise idea for someone at the same table to give you a piece of their mind on cell phone etiquette? That was the point of discussion with Donna at work. Donna is a little irritated with Ethan writing messages all the time as he gobbled his food. Donna tried to hint that there is a ceiling on how much you are connecting with friends. “Surely you can’t punch messages all day round!” Donna told him.

But Donna didn’t succeed in getting him to dump his cell phone when he’s supposed to spend some quality time with the family. Thinking hard, Donna decided to do something to kick this connection crusade. Instead of asking him to stop touching base, Donna engaged him in conversations. Emily, her daughter, helped her. Soon Ethan was talking and the flow of the spoken words took care of the written ones! Donna tells me that family affairs are more pleasant now.

Here’s a Len Wein quote for friends who have not met in a long while: “A friend is someone who is there for you when he’d rather be anywhere else.”