Let’s Have A Friendly Chat

Dear 123Greetings subscriber,

I’m so haggard and spent ! Ask me why ? Friendship Week was the culprit…had fun ganging up with my partners in crime all over the place and hey, now that I remember…Meggy met me with a bouquet of roses and daffodils (cute) and touched my heart with these words on Friendship Day… “Bob, I thought I am your only friend, but not to be…I found there is a long line of pals and so I complained to God only to find Him to be in queue.“ Sweet ?! Same goes for you guys and gals…! Now, let me take you on a fun ride of events…hop on !

We fight like cats and dogs at least thrice in two days. Of course, she is always right, even when she is wrong ! Yes. It has become a routine nowadays. I and Aaliyah are growing up traditionally as any other good couple does.

We had set a date to meet yesterday night and she never showed up. Her excuse was, she fell asleep in the late evening and just slept all the way through, until morning. Wow ! I was justifiably fuming and didn’t call her. Of course, she came calling in the evening.

I beckoned her in and showed the couch. All set for a chat, when she asked, "Bob, you just don’t keep your place tidy, do you ?"

"Hmmm…. you are all the way here to ask this, right ?" I retorted.

"Hey, I just wanted to kill time and that’s it!" She gave back.

"Oh Yeah ! I’m an walking Late Night Show host !" I was hurt.

"I walked around a mile, searching your place" she confessed.

"That’s not my damn problem" I was angry.

"You talk shit!" she roared.

And I threw the Diet Coke I had in hand like an enraged pitcher and it bounced all over the room, scattering the silence to shreds.

She started crying; yes, literally, tears were flowing down her cheeks. Is she this sensitive ?! I sat beside her, "Hey

Aaliyah, I’m sorry…"

She was still crying, if anything a bit louder. I took her hand, bent my head and gave her a tentative kiss on the back of the palm.

She cleared off the tears on her cheeks, leaned on my shoulder and whispered,

"You kissed me ?!"

"No, I dropped my lips accidentally on your hand"

"You kissed me?!" again…

"Yeah ?!" How should I react here…I was stammering…

"Kiss me" She said.

"What ?!" I was confused.

She moved her face near mine. Her lips were half open, her eyes piercing mine; I kissed her on the lips ! When the lips gave way for the tongue to speak, she said, "I hate you" and smiled.

"I too !" I said happily.

Then, the sweet-nothings started………

On our trip to Macy’s, we happened to hit a diner to have a bite. I and Steve hit the restroom as our bladders were full after the warm beer….Anyways, we were there and what did I see…“We Aim To Please, You Too Aim, Please!“
Hmmm….I shouldn’t have read it during my performance (?), you see, I started breaking into a giggle and in a jiffy,

I had soiled my trousers. Sure enough, everyone’s gonna think it was an accident. I had to wait out for a while, but no signs of drying….what do I do ?! Some luck…I jus don’t have a magical horseshoe to wipe off my misery ! Peeled off a good meter of toilet paper from the roll, and set out to dry. Well, when I came back to the table…there were squeals of laughter. Why wouldn’t it be ? The white-tissue savior of mine was all over the trousers in tiny pieces, making up a collage of embarrassment. Sigh ! This Toilet Paper Day I am sure Steve and Meggie are gonna bombard me with cards, reminding me of my misadventure…!

Kong, my pet poodle, is the cynosure of all eyes when strangers come calling. Of course, you know he is too smart to be a dog. I mean, as we all know he is up to tricks all the time. Of course, I rant about it one and all and made him look a villain in the minds of my pals. But when they are here and wanna see some fun, he becomes so cool and cozy. If I yell, “Bang“ “Bang“….he will play dead invoking shrieks of amazement from my buddies. Hmm…to be fair….he isn’t that bad, you know…In the mornings when I’m still dozing away to glory, he sneaks into my room, snuggles next to me and just waits and waits till I open my eyes…I mean, he wouldn’t even try to lick or paw…but just wait. And I thought he was a five-sensed one ! He’s a buddy, my Kong. This Dog Day, he’s gonna get whatever he wants. Of course, he doesn’t bark orders, but I know the drill. The usual : Juicy bones to long walks. Yes, Kong, I hear you, you got it !

I and Meggy were friends before Steve hit it off with us. Listen up people, this is how I and Steve met for the first time.

Megan had invited me over to dinner and had told me that she will be introducing me to her friend Steve. And so I went hands in pockets, empty pockets, to feast. Meggy introduced me to Steve and the dinner was fabulous. When we were almost done and ordered the dessert, Meggy got a call from a friend. Her friend has had an accident and the 911 caller had directed an ambulance, which had taken her to a hospital. Now, hearing the news, Meggy was in a hurry to go. And we urged her to move on and there she went. I and Steve settled into our rhythm of slow talk, sipping the black coffee when suddenly it struck me. I don’t have enough money to pay the check. I heard later, Steve too realized the same at the same time. So, I thought upon an idea. I started to go slow on the coffee. I mean, I started to sip it real slow so that I wouldn’t be through with my ordeal of finishing the dinner and if Steve is through first, he has to pay. Of course, as with all like-minded idiots, Steve too hit up on the same plan. So there we were, pretending to sip one cup of coffee for an hour until Meggy came to save us. Hmm…. this is how Steve entered my life. No wonder….the geeky goose is still a pain albeit a sweet one.

Peace,

Bob
Editor, 123Greetings
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