Say ‘Hey’, Control Work, Deferred Dreams

Have you met Mr. Today with a smile? What about getting the upper hand at work? Time to do so! Meet a lover who deferred his dreams for love and about someone who is hesitant to elevate friendship to love. Join me…

The example of the caterpillar morphing into a beautiful butterfly is probably the most lasting visual that suggest change. By change, I mean changing for the better. While we all want our near ones to remain as they are years down the line, we also want to see them grow emotionally. We want them to become more mature, more responsible and more sensitive as human beings. When we meet them years later, we look for that same old persona in them; but we also appreciate a positive change in that.

Life is always throwing us opportunities to learn and grow as individuals. It’s on us to recognize those chances and make the most of them. You have to meet the new day with a smile and a fresh perspective. Say ‘Hey’ to each day as if you are unsure of the past and uncertain about the future. ‘Live the day’ is no more the philosophy of the hedonist. If you want to live without too many regrets, you have to live in the present.

Donna was talking to me the other day about how we try to control things that are beyond us and end up worrying. It would be so much better for everyone if they knew to let go when they find out that they have nothing to do in the matter. Donna was trying to pacify a co-worker who was worked up about a presentation made to a client. The person was nervous and anxious about how she did and if the client would get back with a favorable response.

Donna explained to her that it was her job to do her best at the presentation. Whether her work is appreciated by the clients is beyond her control. She cannot will the clients to like it. Instead, it was time to move on and focus on other important matters. “You cannot get stuck to know how you did,” Donna told her, “You have to keep at it and let the results take their own course. If you want to control something, control the work that you are doing.” Sounds good advice for everyone, doesn’t it?

You must have read in my last newsletter that Kate’s boyfriend, Henry, has decided to move to New York from Iowa. While we are happy for the couple, spare a thought for Henry. His reason for not leaving Iowa initially was that he was too grounded in work. He was doing very well for himself and felt that moving to a new city would mean starting over from scratch. Henry was not prepared to begin life anew, especially in the times that we are in. It was a tough decision for him.

However, months down the line, Henry felt that his love was drifting away from him. The relationship was bearing the strain of the distance. Kate, a die-hard romantic that she is, was reeling under the blues because of a relationship that gave nothing and took everything. It was a situation where one had to let go of their ambition and salvage the relationship. Henry decided to take it up. He canvassed for a transfer to New York, and finally he is here! You have to credit him for sheer courage.

When you are on a roller coaster ride, you don’t want to shift on your seat. You feel that the slightest movement will dislodge you from a pleasurable experience. Megan is great friends with a guy for some time now. He was supportive when Megan was going through her crazy dating phase. In fact, he furnished Megan with ideas on how she could understand things better! Somewhere down the line, Megan seems to have fallen for him.

It’s not one of those love stories where the girl falls in love, hook, line and sinker. This one is a little different. Megan is extremely hesitant about letting this guy know her feelings. Megan is wary that if things don’t work out, she will lose a friend. “I turn to him when others hurt me,” Megan told me, “Whom shall I turn to if he hurts me, even unintentionally?” That is a question that Megan has no answer to. They are headed to a Halloween party soon. Maybe things change there! Come back next week to know what happened.

I leave you with this anonymous quote for those who have their special feeling all bottled up: “Don’t let doubts lose the magic of love, because it’s not every day you meet someone who has the magic to let you fall in love!”