Michelle and I were sitting outside a cafe, enjoying pecan cookies and ice cream cones. Michelle’s mood was anything but light. “Hey Bob, what should I do with Mark?” Michelle asked, looking frustrated. “I can’t break up with him. I want to make it work but it feels like it’s going nowhere. There’s no spark anymore and honestly, I don’t even know what I’m holding onto.”
“Mark is just not focused about the future,” she continued. “Every time I try to have a conversation with him, it just feels like a dead-end.” She looked down at her ice cream, her eyes distant. “I just don’t know what to do. I feel like I know he’s not right for me but then there are moments when he just seems right for me.”
“Loving is hard,” I said, my voice gentle. “You’re at a crossroads, Michelle. The hardest part is knowing when it’s time to let go of a relationship that’s no longer serving you—no matter how right the person seems in fleeting moments.”
She looked up, “What if I’m wrong? What if I’m letting something good slip away?”
“You’re not wrong for wanting something more. Wanting stability, wanting to feel like your future is aligned with someone else—that’s not a mistake. You can’t force someone to want the same things and you can’t convince them to grow at the same pace as you. If Mark isn’t ready for the future you want, it’s not your job to make him.”
Michelle stared at her cone, turning it slowly in her hands. “How do I let go when I still care?”
I smiled softly. “Loving someone doesn’t mean you have to keep holding on. It’s about recognizing that love changes. It evolves.”
Her shoulders seemed to relax just a bit. “Thank you, I guess I needed to hear that. I’m so caught up in the idea of him, I haven’t thought about what’s right for me.”
“Exactly,” I said, tapping the edge of my cookie. “You deserve someone who wants the same future as you. Who values the same things. It might not be Mark, and that’s okay. Letting go of a person you love is never easy, but staying in a relationship that doesn’t meet your needs is harder in the long run.”
To you, dear reader—if you find yourself stuck in a relationship where the spark is fading, where your visions of the future don’t align, ask yourself: is this love or just familiarity? Don’t be afraid to choose yourself. Trust that there is a future ahead where love will feel more fulfilling, more aligned with who you truly are and what you truly need.
Loving is hard, but it’s also what makes us feel alive. So, trust your heart, and let it guide you toward the love that truly fits.