Whispering Love, Just Hugs, The Way Ahead

Let me start with an update: remember I wrote last week that I was upset of missing a birthday? I didn’t miss another, thanks to the Birthday Reminder Service! This week I have a friend dating again, a friend lamenting over a crush, how to make resolutions work and the way ahead for hard workers. Join me…

Megan is dating someone actively. This new interest of Megan has all the marks of being a long-term partner for her. The only chink in the otherwise carefully adorned armor is that he doesn’t call back after dates. Megan was telling me, “I don’t want him to call every second or something, but the least he can do is check up if I’ve come home safe!” It’s only after a couple of days that he calls up to set up another rendezvous. Even the love messages and cards that Megan send over remains unanswered. Maybe he needs an ecard dashboard to keep him informed.

The point is that Megan feels neglected. I advised her to talk to him about it. Megan sounded worried. “What if he thinks I’m being needy?” Megan asked me. I told her that it was perfectly within her right to find out what makes him treat her this way. After some hesitation, Megan talked to him about it. Apparently the guy didn’t realize that he was doing something wrong! “But now,” Megan told me over the phone, “he calls and whispers ‘I Love You’ every time we go back from a date! Isn’t that romantic?”

What happens when you have a crush on a friend? You think of taking your love story forward. What happens when you know that your crush is seriously committed in a relationship? That is when you try to reconcile yourself into expecting nothing more than friendship. Steve is in such a thankless situation! He met a girl at a bookstore. The geek factor worked for them and soon they got talking. After a couple of days of furious texting and online chat, the geek girl informed our by-then mushy geek friend that she was engaged to be married.

Steve didn’t want to ruin the friendship because of his dashed hopes. So he continued to keep in touch with her, though he was more restrained and cautious after the big discovery. “Trouble started when she expected me to advise her on her relationship!” Steve lamented. “Imagine me giving her tips to mend a relationship I don’t want to work in the first place!” he added. But our good-natured Steve did help her out. “Guess what I got as counseling fees?” Steve dared me, and finally added, “Just a hug!”

Hugs always remind me of get-together with friends! Have you had one lately? Send invites to all your close buddies for a fabulous meet up sometime soon. Track RSVPs and you can organize a party without reaching out too deep into your pockets!

It’s not a tough ask to draw up a list of resolutions. Most of us would be too eager to have one during the New Year. A month into this year, how many of those resolutions are still on the table, how many are modified into their more timid versions and how many are downright rejected as impractical? If you make an honest connect, almost all your resolves will be slotted into one or the other category! The trick to stick to resolutions is to be careful when making them. You cannot change as a person just because it’s New Year. Accept that.

Resolutions that are realistic and grounded are the only ones that will work. It’s not enough to make a series of resolves. You must also have a plan to achieve those. You can break up your resolve into smaller bits so that it looks less daunting. With so much to work for on a daily basis, you cannot expect yourself to reach something totally out of your circumstances. In fact, such resolutions cut into your motivational drives. You know what you can do. Your resolutions only stick when you play to your strengths and not to impress your colleagues or friends.

At the workplace, you’re expected to work for the progress of the company as well as for yourself. But sometimes you find yourself challenging this notion that is taken for granted. In a fast changing corporate scenario, what are the odds that your personal contribution to the company will hold forth for you. Donna was having an intense discussion with an employee who was just made redundant after years of work that he had put in for the office. No wonder he was shaken up, but he also put forward some very pertinent questions.

You have to give it to Donna who handled the exit interview very tactfully. Donna pointed out how no one could say for sure what the fruits of labor will be. “You cannot be sure of avoiding traffic accidents even when you’re following all the rules, can you?” she reasoned. “There are some unexpected bolts that come from the blue. You cannot stop, scared that the bolt might stop you from moving ahead!” Donna’s words of courage did the trick. When he walked out of the door one last time, he was smiling.

Here’s a Rita Mae Brown quote to keep you going ahead: “You work hard. Keep your nose clean and you’re bound to get ahead.”