Break-ups have a way to scrape every trace of enthusiasm out of your heart and fill it with anguish and the once happy memories become like knives piercing through the open wound.
My friend is going through hell. I can see it in her eyes even when she smiles. Her laughter doesn’t reach her eyes anymore. The color of her skin has paled and she looks blank almost all the time. She weeps uncontrollably at the movies, saying that she is sensitive to drama and music. She’s become unpredictable, her moods are like mountains. She is losing interest in meeting or talking to people who were once very dear to her.
It is also affecting her work and study. Her attention span has considerably reduced. She is often rushing to finish her projects in the last minute.
I felt helpless. I tried to welcome her back to sanity and stability but I failed each time. She went hours at work without food and in the night she sits with a huge bowl of chocolate dripping ice-cream, sugar temporarily hijacks her despondency and gives her the sudden boost of endorphins, dopamine, the happy hormones only to dip back down in the morning when she would crash to an all time low mood. I often see her active and online during odd hours in the night and sleep till late in the morning.
Weekends she drains herself in wine and whines ceaselessly. I listen to her feeling even more powerless.
I want to help her to accept what’s happened, cry over it to finally get over it. She needs to move on to the colorful spectrum of life which is waiting at the end of this monochromatic existence.
We all mess up at times. We all take decisions that are not always the right ones. We goof up and we are rejected. So what?
We learn and we live. That’s it.
So on the last Sunday I decided to cheer her up. I dragged her out of bed in the morning when she is at her lowest. I asked her to quickly get dressed and drove her to the Church.
To my relief she let go of her true emotions in front of the Lord and cried during the prayers. Post that I took her to her favorite cafeteria where she had visited many times with her ex. I asked her to accept and talk about good memories with delight and gratefulness. I was glad she did and we relished our java and honest tears and smiles.
We finished our coffee and headed towards the car planning the day with all our buddies. I was chattering continuously when she put her hands to my lips quieting me down and looked at me with tears of gratefulness in her eyes.
She is shorter than me and had to lift her heels to lock her arms around my neck and hug me. I folded my arms around her waist and cuddled her back with great affection and love.
The hug healed. I was unsure it healed her more or me but it was magical. After many days I saw the dazzling smile in her eyes.
Words weren’t needed between us. She knew I was a friend who will stick around even in the darkness when everyone else leaves.
It is Hug Week Friends! Go and find a being you can heal with your magical snuggle. Cheer up your folks, friends and pets. Most importantly show them that you are the one who stays.
