Spring Clean, Build Contacts, Complex Tangle

This week’s edition presents a different take on friendship. Find out how contacts can be helpful and how the past never leaves you alone! Have you been spending quality time with your family lately? Read why you should…

We are midway through Spring. This happens to be the time when we clean out clutter and touch up on stuff. What about your contacts and friendships? Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not talking about those bonds which are for a lifetime. I’m talking about those friends who are on the fringes of your friend circle. Some of them are toxic, some are best when out of touch and some are plain irritating company. There must be some names on your contact list which make you ignore the phone every time their names flash on your phone screen. If you want to work on these weak links, now is the time. If you feel the need to let go, now is the time.

There is nothing wrong with starting afresh. I always believe that bonds are not bondage. They liberate you and urge you to scale heights that you thought were beyond your reach. Your true friends are those who encourage you and expect you to encourage them when they are on a lean phase. If you feel the burden of a particular relationship bearing down heavily on you and your peace of mind, it’s best to act. There’s no point letting things hang the way they are, unattended and unkempt. I would suggest you be honest in your dealings and tell the other person that things are not working out and you’d rather part ways amicably. At the same time, appreciate your true friends.

Donna has some helpful tips for all you people out there who are working or studying. Donna was talking to me the other day about the importance of having an active list of contacts. Donna emphasized how we must always look to build bridges with the people we work or associate with. “Contacts are sometimes your most valuable assets,” Donna said. I couldn’t agree more. With a string of people that you can turn to, you always have this sense of cushion. I agree that the help that most would offer may not be something tangible or worth following up, but just the opportunity to talk to someone who knows is a blessing in itself.

Donna was talking how a good contact system often bailed her out. I know of colleagues who fell back on the professional contacts that they made while working at a place. When they were laid off, they contacted others in the industry, followed them by email and on social networking pages. The idea is to reach out and touch base with people who are in a situation to try and help you out. There’s no harm done here to your sense of self-esteem because you never know, a few months down the line, you may be helping that same person out. It’s just a new age way of being there for each other. Try it. It works.

Megan’s life is in a complete mess! Remember I was telling you about this guy called Dan who is about to get a divorce and has two kids? Finally Megan paid some attention to what we were telling her and decided to cut herself out of that web. Her peace was short-lived. When Megan was going through her social networking page, she discovered that Seth, her ex, was dating a friend of her! Ideally this should have got a nonchalant response from Megan, but when it is about matters of the heart, there is no saying how people will react. It upset Megan to no ends that Seth was now dating someone whom Megan introduced to him. On a logical scale, you wouldn’t find a single reason for Megan to get all worked up, but here’s something that you got to think with your heart.

The worst part is that though Megan is not on talking terms with Seth, she is pally with this girl. There’s no doubting the fact that Megan may run into Seth at one of those friendly outings. Megan is dreading the thought of meeting Seth with a girl on his arm, especially if it happens to be her friend! All we can do here is advocate that she maintain a distance with the couple. And if they do collide paths, all Megan has got to do is smile her way out. Megan is not sure if her friend knows that Seth is her ex. That’s another story in itself. Megan feels that if things proceeded the way it is doing at this stage, it would get tougher for her. Let’s just hope that this tangle straightens itself out.

What should have been the most peaceful and relaxing time of the day is slowly headed towards extinction. Frank and Eleanor were both complaining that families do not spend time with each other anymore. Everyone is so busy with their lives that it doesn’t come across like an aberration. But you have to make a change at your end, that’s what the elderly couple wanted me to tell you guys! So how do you go about it? Eleanor feels that the first step toward doing that is to carve out time for your family. “We will make time out if we so decide,” Eleanor said. It requires some amount of effort and lots of commitment to do that.

Eleanor feels that as family members, you must be a good listener. Frank supported her on that. He said, “Most times we are so full of what our lives are all about, we forget about the others!” They both agreed that communication is a must-have for any relationship. I second that wholeheartedly. I have seen many relationships and families crumble and fall apart because they never talked or shared their lives. They lived in movers boxes, waiting to shift to other locations. If you really want to have a rocking family time, get your family together once in a while over dinner or something. Take the initiative. It’s worth the effort.

Here’s a funny Evan Esar quote to sign the end-note with a smile: “Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.”