Are You Selecting Friends Or Friendship???

The weather changed from being sunny to overcast. Temperatures in the 80s and the humidity helping it along made the mid-July day in New York sluggish. The midtown was a madhouse of traffic which added on to the dreariness.

On the crossroad I saw a dog-walker surrounded by dogs. He used a plastic bag to hold the water, with an opening that allowed him to squirt it on the mongrels’ tongues. In this weather even the dogs need some cool water. They appreciated it in their own canine ways. The friendship between humans and dogs goes a long way. What do you think it is based on?

I feel that it is based on the very deep need of humans to be of provision. Compassion and unconditional love are the tenets on which this connection is resting.

Lately, with the surge in social media networks we are seeing a different color of friendship. The volume of friends has increased by sending and accepting friend requests, all you have to do to qualify friendship is hit the like button. But don’t you think it’s quality over quantity that matters ultimately?

The friends you hold on to can change your entire life. I lately took stock of many of my friends and realized the friendship is ‘time-proof’ and ‘hurt-proof’ because we applied the friendship-glue to it, wondering where’s that available?

Look in your heart and recall a time when it blossomed like a flower on meeting an old friend… Yes! That’s the kind of feeling it is when we opt for friendship over selecting friends based on drifting motives.

Adrian and I were on a highly trafficked lane between 56th and 55th. We were also stuck in a discussion on selecting friends as a means to an end or opting for the virtue of friendship unconditionally.

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He said, “Bob we choose friends based on our interests, our needs and habits.” I nodded and he went on. “There’s got to be something common in friends…” I asked him to give me instances, he said, “Bridgette and I love to play the guitar, Rex loves beer and so do I, Tiffany can get me more work, she has a great network, Julian is also in a distant relationship, she knows my pain and gives me a shoulder to cry on. These guys make my life easy.”

I agreed to the affinity between friends based on likeness but I disagreed to this being the only motive of friendship. He gave me a puzzled look.

I asked him, “What will happen when your interest in guitar dwindles or you decide to become a teetotaler or you get no work from the network you were harping on or get over the situational pain for which you needed the shoulder in the first place?” His eyes were wide open with interest… he opened his mouth to defend his point and then decided otherwise… I continued… “Adrian, the friendship based on frailties, weaknesses, habits and addictions is short-lived. It leads to a mirage of togetherness which fades away with time.”

Our discussion continued. The rain stopped, the skies opened and the road cleared in front of us and we drove by.

Adrian still didn’t fully comprehend or agree to the gestalt of friendship and was stuck on the likeness and compatibility aspect which is also viable after all the journey of companionship begins here.

Whatever be your reason, on this friendship day make it special for your friends … and remember to also open your heart to universal brotherhood and amity. Let friendship be the destination and not just a path. Drop all motives and enjoy lifelong, consistent and lasting relationship.

Revive… Reunite… Rejoice… August 2, 2015 celebrate the best relationship your heart creates…

Share what is friendship for you in 6 words with hash tag #FriendshipForMeIs and tag me @BobEditor123.

Happy Friendship Day!

Love & Joy,
Editor Bob

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