Salute The Flag

Dear 123Greetings subscriber,

Hi friends, I’ve been missing you ! You jus’ don’t know how crazy it’s been down here ! Me ‘n Ron nearly got chucked into prison ‘n your sweet friend Bob’s been planning a nasty revenge ! Then again, Mrs. Bradley’s a bit worried… But hey, what am I babbling all that for here ? Bob’s back with all the updates for the week ‘n you jus’ have to check in to check out all the fun !

Urrrrghhh ! It was my mistake, I admit. But the memory’s still fresh ! Lemme once get my hands on those two li’l devils, George ‘n Rachel ! Okay, I’ll tell you what happened. Last summer, my sis Becky had come over for a visit for a few days… and as usual, my darling nephew and niece had come along too. On the 4th of July, I got them a couple of flags along with a small drum ‘n bugle set, figuring they’d enjoy themselves. Unfortunately, I never realized how much ! They simply went bonkers ! ‘N both of them went parading all over the house with an ear-splitting accompaniment of drum ‘n bugle sounds… ALL DAY ! Poor me nearly went crazy (I kept hearing ‘Boom, Boom !’ in my sleep for days afterwards !) But Becky jus’ howled with laughter ‘n watched me chase her kids to no avail ! How unfair ! No sweat, I’ll get even this time ! I’ll jus’ send a couple of lively e-cards to Rachel ‘n George on Flag Day and pep them up ! Let Becky suffer the ‘Boom, Boom!’ all day long this time ! Ahhhhh !!! Revenge is sweet !

Zoooooom ! Hop in on my time machine ‘n I’ll tell you a story ‘bout how naughty I can be ! Aaliyah came all dressed up and knocked my door in the evening; you know, it was Meet A Mate Week and we were supposed to attend a party hosted by her ram-rod straight, punctual (ohmigod !) friends. And yours truly, after a binge beer session with Ron and Steve was sprawled, dividing the bed and the floor. Well, when I was back to my senses, she went, “Bob ! You were supposed to be up and ready for dinner tonight tagging along a pretty lady….Whatz with this beer….you go bonkers when you hit the bottle ?” and gritted her teeth. True to form, I cracked, “Well, beer doesn’t talk and definitely doesn’t shop” winked at Aaliyah. Exactly, one black-eye rendering punch, two whacks, and three kicks later, I said, “Beer, doesn’t hit either !” Hmm… I should have looked a poor soul in that state…well, well…never miss a chance to make use of sympathy: I gave her my innocent half-smile and exaggerated my pain. Poor lady, didn’t have a choice, had to give me a peck and there you go, Bobby boy got the kiss he yearned for ! Ain’t I a Casanova, guys ? My experience aside, on Sneak A Kiss Day send the cards and prep your pals on how to sip the bubbly, but still sneak a kiss !….wink* wink*

Mrs. Bradley used to be biased in terms of her daily news consumption. She’d rather listen to the fake news of Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert rather than the Fox and CNN. But nowadays she is glued on to any real news she can get. Her son Michael is drafted and in Iraq and whenever there is a car bomb set off in Baghdad she shivers here. She’s proud of her son, alright, but she is a mom. She loves to talk about Mike to anyone who would listen and especially to me. Trips to Grand Canyon with her son comes to haunt her and goggle-eyed she shoots the stories to anyone who’d care to listen. Her memories fill the void now and she waits for the day when he would return. This A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed Day I have decided to get together my gang – Megan, Steve, Ron, and Kate complete with Kong and hit the Arizona treasure, the Grand Canyon, with Mrs. Bradley on our side. It may not be enough to ease her pain, but I am sure she would appreciate the gesture.

There was a video on CNN the other morning of a US Marine soldier who surprised his six-year-old son upon his return from Iraq. He went to his son’s school and walked in to the classroom. Sensing silence around him the boy turned from his idle chatter with his peers and turned to look. Oh ! That little boy’s face when he saw his Daddy !!! It was priceless ! First it was uncertainty, then surprise, and then the tears….he ran to his father at record speed and pounced on him forgetting everyone around n’ started crying with relief and joy…. the soldier with a myriad of emotions going through him was biting his lip lest he succumb to his emotions. A sight to behold ! Mushy one, alright and not many times do you see Bob teary-eyed, this time I did and well, remembered my Old man. What do you expect, gave him a ring n’ promised him that I will hit the road and meet him this Father’s Day and of course, he promised he will have our fav Champagne on the ice. I can’t wait.

For me, Splurge Day is a time to splurge my love all around. This time, I’m gonna shower all my hugs ‘n cuddles on my favorite pooch, Kong… no matter how naughty he is ! How the fellow has grown over the years ! I still remember when I first got him… You won’t believe this, he was the sweetest li’l pup ‘n was jus’ the size of my hand ! But the more he grew up, the naughtier he became ! He started with tearing up my daily paper to shreds ! Then he learned to raid the kitchen ‘n fridge ! In no time, he was digging up poor Mrs. Bradley garden ‘n driving us all nuts ! But after he met his alter ego Pirate, I simply gave up on him ! He’s picked up a few tricks from his buddy and is now the reigning champion of chewing in our neighborhood ! And don’t even think ‘bout asking me how he learned to do somersaults, ‘coz I haven’t the foggiest idea ! Hmmm… you must be wondering how I tolerate this jumpin’-barkin’ nightmare from hell ? Well friends, lemme tell you this… if anyone adored you as much as Kong loves me, you’d settle for all that naughtiness and much, much more !

Screeeeeeeeech !!! Our car braked to an abrupt halt ! Now this is an experience I’m used to when Rick’s driving. But with Ron behind the wheel, this was a doubly unexpected jolt ! Trouble was, he had come to a stop right at the intersection between Washington Avenue and Sterling Place ! ‘Honk. Honk ! Honk !! Honk !!!’ The other drivers weren’t too pleased and were loudly expressing their displeasure ! I looked around, expecting the cops to pounce at any moment… Ron ignored it all and declared with all seriousness, “Next Wednesday. Vanilla Milkshake Day.” “Very interesting, Ron… can we go, pleeeeeease ?” I pleaded. In another un-Ron-like maneuver, he pressed on the gas pedal, lurched, and vroomed ahead… just in the nick of time, before the police or anybody else could get their hands on us ! He was all smiles. “What on earth did you do that for ?” I yelled ! “I just spotted my favorite diner and remembered. That’s all.” That’s all ? We nearly get beaten up by angry drivers and almost hauled to prison… and all the pompous foodie can say is, “That’s all” ? Remind me to stay miles away from this guy when the food days are around, friends ! His craziness will get me into trouble one of these days, I tell you ! But hey, with this harrowing experience behind me, I can now peacefully concentrate on sending some lovely cards to my buddies for this day ! Don’t tell Ron, but I simply adore ‘n go gaga on vanilla milkshake too !

Peace,

Bob
Editor, 123Greetings
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