Bob Goes Speed Dating

Hey you!

Happy Valentine’s Day! Are you guys ready for it? I hope ya have all the cards, chocolates and roses ready. If you’re out of ideas, you can get tulips too. Just showing up with a bouquet of flowers–especially red tulips would cheer up her heart…

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I was really depressed last week after talking to Jeffrey about his Valentine’s Day surprise to Kate. I was reminiscing about Aaliyah when Megan called to help her with the computer. I guess I was looking really depressed and more quiet than normal, so she asked me what the matter was. I told her about how I used to plan stuff for Aaliyah too and how I really miss her. Megan looked helpless. We talked about my date with the redhead and how it went so horribly wrong. Sometimes I think I’m the one who’s doing all the wrong moves. Maybe I’m just oblivious to things or I lost my mojo or whatever I had. Maybe Aaliyah loved me so much that she tolerated all my shortcomings until she couldn’t take it anymore.

“Look Bob, you need to relax and just have fun for a while,” said Megan, “Maybe having a relationship right now for you is not the best thing. Why don’t you date for a while and see the options out there for you? I’m sure something will work out. I mean, you’re a great guy.” She really tried her best to change my mood. “I don’t think there’s anyone out there for me Megan, I mean, she’s gone and I don’t think I’ll be getting her back,” I told her.

Then Megan said, “I’ll tell ya what, I’ll make a pact with you. If you’re not married by the age of 35 and I’m not married, why don’t we just marry each other?” I was stunned. Speechless. This is Megan we’re talking about, folks. Someone I’ve known all my life–someone I’ve never expected in a million years would ‘propose’ to me. “Um… okay… since we’re really great friends, I guess we can work something out like that.”

There you have it folks, at least someone’s out there for me. I’m not going to die alone, old and decrepit. I thought it was really sweet of her to say something like that. We made a pact and shook hands on it. Just like when we used to shake hands when we were kids back in Cali. It cheered me up a lot, that’s for sure!

Heart To Heart Day [Feb 14]

Megan and I wanted a little adventure so we decided to go to a speed dating place–and boy, it was weird! Most people whizzed past me because they were mundane and generic. Questions like “What’s your sign? Do you have pets? Do you have children?” et cetera, et cetera… were asked almost on every round. I mean who would really pour their heart out to total complete strangers in the span of five minutes, right? I kept checking on Megan and she kept her eye contact with me. We were motioning each other and wondering “What did we land ourselves into now?”

Then there was this woman. She was really pretty. I mean she had the right height, great hair, nice eyes–the works, you know. But when she opened her mouth, everything came out. I learned more about her life history than I ever really wanted to know. She literally poured out everything she discusses with her therapist in five minutes flat! Did someone forget to send me the email on the fact that people are speed dating to skip therapy?

For the ladies out there, let me give you a piece of advice–don’t pour your heart out on a first date! Give the poor guy a break. I was on the receiving end of whatever bottled up stuff she was working on, and well, it was very, very uncomfortable! She started crying and telling me about how it’s so hard to find a decent man these days… I mean, I promise you–that was the longest five minutes of my life! And I do want them back.

Don’t lose hope on me just yet, because as soon as I came out the door, I saw the hostess that was running the tables. She thought I had a funny reaction to people I met that night. So I struck up a conversation and asked her out. You think she can do better?

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Thanks For A Great Valentine’s Day [Feb 15]

I have to thank the ladies for a great Valentine today. This morning I walked in the door and all of them surprised me with the biggest Valentine I’ve ever seen! I mean, it was humongous! Everyone signed it just to cheer me up. I think the main organizer was Donna. I bet she got the message from my newsletter about the baby shower. Maybe she heard from Megan about how down I was.

Well, whatever it was, I’m not complaining. It was really nice of them to cheer me up and have some fun around the office. I might not have a significant O but hey, I have all these lovely ladies cheering me up. And I’m totally open for the market! I guess it all depends on your outlook. If you’re down and depressed this VDay season, DON’T BE! Just because you don’t have someone doesn’t mean you don’t have friends. They’re good for all seasons, and not just a day in the year. Besides, Valentine’s Day is overrated. So, pick yourself by the bootstraps and thank your friends for being there for you through thick and thin. Stop focusing on yourself and start appreciating what you have–well, that’s what I’m telling myself anyway.

Saying I Love You

Saying “I love you,” is more than just those three little words. It’s your whole being, your actions that really count. You didn’t think I forgot to tell you about Kate and Jeffrey’s romantic weekend did ya? I’m saving the best for last, ha ha! Jokes apart, what Jeffrey proposed to Kate was really, really romantic. You have to know the whole story. First off, he called her and told her that he was sick. Our Kate of course went nuts. She wanted to get chicken soup for the fellow, she wanted to be there and care for him and so on… So she rushed to his place, and what did she find?

Rose petals! Ya, you read it right, a trail of rose petals that went from the door to the dining room. The whole place was lit with candles. “Warm, glowing, orange candlelight,” according to her. Kate had this weird glow and a grin on her face when she told us all about it at our Monday catch-up dinner. The chef Jeffrey, maestro of love, was ready with dinner. I mean this guy must’ve read every book on how to keep a lady happy. He can play music, he can cook, AND he has all the right moves! I’m thinking of taking classes from him! So they had their dinner and he told her that he’s really head over heels for her and that he really, really loved her. “I don’t know about you, but I want to be exclusive with you,” the real love doctor explained, “if you need time to think about it I understand. I’m just letting my feelings be known now, so that we’re clear.” Of course our Kate was breathless.

What did she answer back? Stay tuned for next week’s edition of the Kate-Jeffrey love saga!

Until then, here’s a moment of Zen to keep you busy, there’s an old proverb my granddad used to say, “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” I’m really glad for Kate. It reminds me of the early days when Aaliyah and I used to date. I was as crazy as Jeffrey then, I still am…

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