We are all still believing that journaling or declaring resolutions alone will work at least this year. Aren’t we repeating our mistakes? How many years you promised yourself that you will take care of yourself and you will be your best version? It lasts for the first ten or even less days in January each year and then it fades away as life catches up. Don’t be a slave to the logical reasonings that often defy us.
The magic of any external victory comes from winning the war within. No resolves will work unless you work on your internal dialogue or beliefs.
I was fascinated by my friend’s handcrafted journal in which she wrote in her calligraphic handwriting, her goals for the year 2019.
- Control My Spending
- Have More Willpower
- Try Harder
- Eat Healthier
- Exercise More
- Read More
- Lose Weight
I looked at her, she is in her late thirties with plump and round body type and exceedingly vulnerable and emotional persona which makes her give in to temptations easily. Self-doubts surround her and she believes it takes immense strength to resist the seducers like chocolates and sweets. She lets her low self-esteem take over her better side, she easily sways from her decisions of eating healthy or having a sensible routine for her life.
The guilt then plays on her like a monster further weakening her spirit and making her irritable almost all the time.
So, I decided to jump in and interfere in her process, having gone through it myself, I knew it wouldn’t work and will leave her feeling sorry for herself all the more. To make your dreams come true, you have to primarily work on your Self.
Firstly, I wanted to ask her what would make her feel when she has achieved each of those goals she has etched for herself? She smiled and said, “I will be elated and would celebrate and reward myself.” I asked her to be specific and she said, “I will reward myself with a backpacking trip to Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania by the end of the year if I achieve these goals. I always wanted to hike there but with my weight…” she sighed heavily.
I interrupted her midway so that she doesn’t slip into the self-pity mode again. I asked her, “For each of the goals, how would you know when you have achieved them?” She thought for a while and then she put numbers and specifics to each of her goals. She stated that by losing 25 pounds by June this year, she will know she is on the right track. I praised her for knowing what exactly she wanted and also for having a timeline for the same. I asked her to keep a track of her journey and also include a way to perk herself at milestones and also watch for red signals when she has wandered far from her set path.
That is just a way to train your brain into achieving what you are set for. It will help you in moving forward in the right direction. What will keep you rooted there are these three resolves which will supersede all the other resolutions and work for you even when you are caught up in the myriad games of life.
- Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself
- Change The Conversation You Are Having With Yourself
- Start Challenging Yourself
Brace yourself. Accept yourself. Feel what you feel. See yourself as perfect with all the imperfections. You are the abstract art of God. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Raise your awareness. Your life is your masterpiece. Be authentically you. You are not here to live in misery or to impress others. This New Year, own up your power and let yourself believe that whatever you can conceive, you can achieve.
What conversations do you have with yourself every moment of everyday? It shapes up your reality. We humans have approximately 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day. Fascinating isn’t it?
The mind however filters many thoughts which are based upon how we see the world. Positive thinking works and now we have scientific proof for the same. So, keep reassuring yourself with positive monologues.
Start challenging yourself at every milestone because life is more about journeying to be better than arriving. Life is in the flow. So, I have these 100 days challenge for embracing a new behavior or habit. Lately, I have challenged myself to stay away from anger and knee-jerk reactions for the coming one hundred days. It is fun to see how things get heated up and we forget to respond appropriately. I have restarted the 100 days challenge at least five times already in the past week so Day 9 sadly becomes Day 1 again but what it is doing for me is, it is making me mindful about my own inner drama.
“Phenomenal!” She exclaimed and hugged me. I was happy and splashed a wave of smiles her way. She thanked me and scribbled a quick note in her journal and said, “I just got to know all these years where’d I failed? My image in my mind is always of a loser and that is my internal dialogue with myself, I could never challenge myself because I was too fearful of losing again. I could never believe that I’m enough.”
This New Year I wish you contemplate and accept the three resolves and see how things change for you.