Happy New Friendships from Editor Bob

Hey you,

How was your Fourth of July weekend? I had a fabulous time. Wait until I tell ya what happened on the beach! But before that, you guys have gotta know what Megan’s been up to lately…

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  Personal Chef’s Day [Jul 16]

After her disaster with the chocolate cake the other week, (if you missed that story, read it here), Megan decided to do something about it. She’s a girl who always wants to take up a challenge, especially if it’s about learning something that she’s not good at. She called me a day after that fateful cake-tasting incident. I was not sure how she’ll take my rather violent reaction after I tasted that bitter cake. I mean, I didn’t shout or anything, but I got so jarred, I couldn’t hide my spontaneous reaction. I was apprehensive over the phone and pretty much willed her to lead the conversation.

At first she spoke flatly, without a trace of anger or hurt in her voice, “I want to be a personal chef.” Did I get it right? Well yes, I know she has a lot of interest in the gourmet thing and she’s a class act to walk up to if you are unsure about what to order at a fancy restaurant, but a personal chef? Looks like she’s going to take her cooking classes to the next level. Megan said, “Personal chefs are making cool careers these days. It works out for people who are professionals and don’t have the time to think of food. People just don’t have enough time these days!” Her voice was filled with enthusiasm and determination. I’m glad to see that Megan finally found her calling.

I replied with all the encouragement and support I could muster. Yes, she has the knack and a natural ability about food and identifying ingredients and how it’s cooked. That, I feel, will give her a sure shot to have a great career. Instinctively, I was tempted to ask if she had to cook as well! But I didn’t want the conversation to recall last week’s disaster, so I let the thing pass. I made a mental note to find out later on what being a personal chef is all about.

Cheer Up Day [Jul 11]

After that really expensive evening at that fancy restaurant, I made up my mind that I wouldn’t see Leo for a while. Of course, like always when I make up my mind to do something, the opposite usually happens. And the worse thing is, I couldn’t control the circumstances.

Megan called me up in the afternoon the other day. She spoke softly and whispered, “Bob, I have something to tell you, can you meet me at the Starbucks we usually hang out at in fifteen, twenty minutes?” I was a bit curious and alarmed, Megan’s not usually the secretive type and we pretty much know what’s going on in each other’s lives. I thought she might really be having some stunning thing up her sleeve. I couldn’t say much, it didn’t sound like I had a choice in the matter anyway so I just said, “Fine.” Then I took off to meet Megan. When I came about the window of the café, I froze. I saw Megan, but there was someone else with her. It was Leo!

She had that beam from that fancy restaurant again. I cussed at myself. And thought of turning back but it was too late, Megan saw me already. I had to go in, walk up to their table and shake hands with Leo. After a minute or two, my curiosity was satisfied to my dissatisfaction. Megan had towed Leo to cheer me up!

She told Leo about my whole break up with Laura and how Aaliyah left me etc. I guess karma works in a funny way, after all, I’ve been writing about people’s lives on the newsletters. What was the matter with Megan anyway? All of a sudden she brings Leo into my private life and wants me to spill all my beans.

The torment started as soon as I sat down. He started patting me and poking me around with questions in each sentence he uttered. I fumbled and mumbled but he wouldn’t let go. He repeated back in summary whatever I said. When Leo figured that I wasn’t comfortable, he started quoting all sorts of inspirational quotes to cheer me up. Apparently, he’s a professional self-help guru who is also a motivational speaker. That’s why Megan wanted him to ‘cheer me up.’

Leo came up with all sorts of quotes to cheer me up. And yes, he repeated them twice with emphasis on certain words. Then it struck me that there’s only one way out of this hole: I pulled myself up and grinned broadly to express I felt better. It was a mission impossible but I got immediate results. Leo proudly turned to Megan, demanding kudos for his pep talk with me. Megan had a divine smile on her face, happy that she made such a judicious choice and put faith in her new beau. I looked at Megan stupefied! She knows me from childhood and yet couldn’t detect the exasperation in my smile. Love is truly blind and blinding!

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  Seeking Adventures In Dating

Remember I told you guys that I’m teaming up with Steve to go for dates? Well, Steve suggested that we should give online dating a try. He said that at least there would be more fish in the pond. (Well, according to him anyway.) Now, I’m not a person who goes off on adventurous dates. I’ve hardly gone on blind dates. Knowing how bad my luck is with dates, I know I shouldn’t be too adventurous. But Steve convinced me, he told me about his recent love interest and even though they didn’t really know each other, they just met at the conference and hooked up. Well, rather connected online. “See Bob, it’s all a matter of perception,” said my friend Steve. There’s a ton of people out there who met online and have relationships. Some are even happily married and have kids.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! This is my UFO friend Steve, who, a few weeks ago wanted to prove the existence of UFOs! Kids grow up so fast eh?

Adrian on the other hand wanted to borrow Kong for a doggie date. “Doggie date?!” I screamed at him, when I heard it. “Is that some sort of a new actor’s fad that you’re following?” He told me that he took a different route home last week and saw a dog park where owners let the dogs run loose without the leashes. He saw a woman dog owner that he really liked and the only way he can meet the woman is to have a dog to run around with in the dog park. “So, Kong is merely a vehicle for your love connection?” I asked Adrian, not wanting to believe him wanting to use MY pup for his own misadventures in dating. Folks, I can see the story in some chick flick already… starring Adrian himself! He didn’t reply to me, he just had this evil grin on him. I didn’t refuse, how could I. So I gave him permission to use Kong in whatever endeavor that he’s undertaking. As long as he leaves me out of this whole mess-to-be, I’m fine with it.

Talk about meeting people online, have you seen the 123Greetings Fan group of Facebook? You can meet other 123Greetings Fans there and invite your friends to hang out with the group. Click here to check it out and join the discussion on online dating!

New Friendships, New Beginnings

We had a really pleasant trip out to the Cape. To our surprise Irina was able to join us on the beach after all! But when I saw her, I thought, who was that guy in a black sweat shirt beside her? He was about 6 and half feet tall, with strong, sturdy shoulders. His eyes had a penetrating glance, as if he can read the thoughts that you’d rather hide from him. They came up to me and Irina bubbled with enthusiasm and introduced him: “This is Richard! I told you about him?”

So he was the would-be political honcho who pulled Irina out of her wild fashion phase! It must be, because he was impeccably dressed. He held out his hand and got hold of my palm in a firm, assertive grip. “Hi!,” he said, in a thick baritone, “heard a lot about you from Irina. How is your work going?” I suddenly felt a wave of relief. I met Leo a few days back and there he was asking all sorts of personal questions and poking in territories where his designation is that of a trespasser. Richard probably knows that I’m single and about my past with Irina. Yet he made no reference to it throughout the time he was with me. We talked about neutral topics, about my work and his and by the end of it all, he impressed me with his conversational skills. If he ever runs for office, he’s getting my vote!

This is what the base of a friendship should be: respect for each other’s personal space. That is something that connects me to my friends and to new people who I befriend. I don’t like people who interfere and ask questions that probe in to the personal sphere. I think that is why I connected with Richard but not with Leo. I am sure you guys would be agreeing with me as well on this point. Let me know what you think should be the ground rules of friendship between two individuals.

I have to go now folks, but here’s a quote from one of my favorite authors, Mark Twain about friendship. “Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great.” That’s the essence of friendship for me. What about you? What are your friendship essentials?

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Until next week, same email ID, same inbox!

Editor, 123Greetings

P.S. Have you seen the new 123Greetings fan club? If you haven’t click here to head on over there and join the discussion board!

23 thoughts on “Happy New Friendships from Editor Bob

  1. Hi Bob, I enjoy reading your letters. You are a natural and as I was reading I could picture everything that you were writing about.

    I know what it is like to date online. I have been divorced for three years now. It was a very difficult adjustment for me and devastating too. I’ve gone out with a few online dates but havn’t had much luck. One fine man I started caring for and we were together for about a year when he ended up going back with his ex-wife. He missed his family life with his kids etc. Well I can understand it all but that didn’t stop my heart from breaking all over again.
    Maybe if I just don’t try as hard I will someday find my true love but until then…

    It is best for me to just continue enjoying each day as it comes and keep up my photography,my oil painting and my exercise and whatever happens happens.

    I do enjoy your cards. My sister introduced me to them by sending me a card each day. I live here in Florida and she lives in N.H. I do miss my family so when I see her card waiting to be opened up, I feel good. Thanks so much for making this site possible. I really enjoy it and you make it very enjoyable with your letters. Thanks again, Tena

  2. Hi, Bob
    I actually couldn’t agree with you more about the basis of a friendship. I feel uncomfortable around who either tell me everything about themselves, or expect to know everything about me upon our first meeting. There’s nothing wrong with self-disclosure, providing that it comes up during the course of a conversation. But you need to choose carefully how much you reveal, to whom, and in what manner, lest it comes around and bites you in the butt later. Oh well, take care and I’ll talk to you soon, Wil

  3. Bob I am so thrilled to get his newletter dont know how it happened but glad it did come to me, must be the universe doing its thing, as for dating well I guess some of us need to just realise that we are not meant to be in that situation, be happy with self and keep doing what makes us happy, this site is a way for you to give out a great story of your life and I feel like a voyer!!! but I love it….as I am so old now and life is so good..

  4. you are nearly as loquatious as i & that, sis, is frightening! by the way as a former english major who is now a freelance artist, if my odd ponctuation bothers yo , i know how to do it properly..just let me know whether or no you are able to read it….i like what i have read so far;i confess i am waiting for some paint to dry so did not read it all..if you’d like an artist friend, i’d enjoy a verbal one;most of mine are introverts…awwww, poor me;i do on certain occasions find myself talking to myself;it’s interesting;get all the baggage out & save a fortune on shrink bills!! do yoe like abstract art or more traditional;i do both , prefer abstrect;i have a degree in Fine Arts from the university here ..a BA, did not want to teach /go for MfA;& i am good.also quite modest, not available for anything but friendship..in a relationship for yrs.let me know what you think & i will share some of my stories with you…the fun ones more than the true ones, which willdepend totally on your time, interest.i just have 1 question i need you to answer honestly;are you totally sane? i am not referring to bipolarity , etc, but ….i will stop here;if you got that, i will know for sure i’d like to hear from you, show you some of my work perhaps;i don’t sell over internet..may do some cards that way eventually. i have & do sell & thank the universe i do not live alone;IRS, nasty govt. people, politicians in general give me the creeps…i always have suspicions about the upbringing of people who want to run the world;they don’t , truly don’t seem to know that the only thing any of us can truly control are our own reactions to things;period;people do mess up a lot trying, however, to control..(i want Bill back..& don’t/didnt care whom he didn’t have sex with;we are having so much more fun now, aren’t we…ok;i told you i talk/write a lot..i ake no secret of my politics, or anything..eventually;hey, how much space is left here, dude? leaving now..oh, favorite singer/guitarist;mark knopfler….like most music;hate hip hop, though;i like lyrics too much;maybe later, judy

  5. hi Bob, your letter is as lovely as usual. But lately i couldn’t reach you. To read you i have to go to the archives. It is not coming to my account anymore. And when i wanted to subscribe again the response was that i am already a subscriber. So what is the problem? what did i do?

  6. sir please i want u to prepare a card of my own view the card should contain of this pictures. first a school building n in that building in second floor window a 12th class girl watching practise of basket ball. ground is two big going on with two games foot ball n basket ball.
    the card should be viewed in this way first school building consist of two floors N second foot ball n basket ball N third full view of skool building b ground.

  7. Hey You, “Please do not display for the reader’s”

    First time I read your article or newsletter until the end. “Please don’t be mad from me,” but the only think let me talk or correspond, because you talk about friendship. I respect you, when you say, it should to be respect for each other’s, this first rules. But what do you think about friends? You mean girl or boy or just a friend you wants to spend a good time with her/him or true, honest, mature love like a friend who always help each other’s without waiting for something regarding this love, open mind, always gave excuse for the person he/she hurt from the other’s and he/she give advised always to face any problem or trouble. I think, the friend doesn’t matter to be married or single to be friend. What do you think??

  8. hey i have heard of round robin dating? thats where singles meet at a place, and when this event starts u have 15 minutes to sit with a person and chat,,,no personal information is exchanged unless u give it, then when a buzzer or whistle blows u have to move to another table. what i want to know is if there is anything like that around me. i live near the space coast of fla.

  9. I love reading your letters, I can visualise everything you say. I fully agree with your comments about the basis of a friendship.

    Keep writing my friend. I feel as though I know you personally and would really miss reading your letters.

    I like your cards and paintings. Wish I could afford to commission you to do one for me, but maybe one day I might come up on the Lotto! LOL.

  10. Hi, Bob!

    Thank-you so much for all your wonderful stories. They never fail to cheer me up. To embrace and live life fully in laughter and tears, I’ve picked up loads from your thoughts through time and distance…Be wonderfully blessed always!


  11. Congratulations, Bob! Truly amazing how numerous are the occasions when we can reach out to family, friends and acquaintances. I learned all about them from your newsletter. Thanks so much for sharing, now we can make a lot of someone happy, a lot more times!

  12. Frienship essentials are difficult for me to define. Respect for each other is very important especially if this friend is totally different than you are. But the differnces don’t mean you can’t be friends if there is respect. For me, when I meet someone for the first time, before any thing else happens beyond “hello”, I wait for just a feeling. Some people give you a feeling like you have known them your entire life when in fact you just met. With with others, you don’t get a good feeling at all or any feeling for that matter. So you are cautious and take more time to see if your initial feeling was correct. Call it intuition, call it gut feeling, call it whatever you want. But for me, I need to feel a level of safety. I need to feel this is someone who will not with intent, hurt me physically or emotionally. Only then will I allow this person to know me and the person I am. But it doesn’t come from something they say or do, just an inner feeling. A friend can be someone you know for 10 minutes or for a lifetime. What is important is what you learn about yourself while getting to know them. Thanks for another thought provoking question. Nancy

  13. Hi Bob,

    I like to read your newsletters and I always look forward to Fridays. We meet different people everyday and everyone has his or her own way. It is certainly important to have one’s boundary. However, people could not become true friends unless there is some “breach” of one’s boundary, i.e., sharing a part of oneself. Of course, there is always certain part of the boundary that could not be breached, even to the closest friend.

  14. Dear editor Bob,

    I didn’t know that i can request a card of my own view. if so, please prepare a card with a young man, age from 27-28, pulling his own hair, smacking his ownself, but at the same time with a big smile on his face, but not a grin. would you??? would you????? would you???

    thanks alot Bob!

  15. Hello Bob,

    Thanks for your old style newsletter i received. You sound like still upset with your break up ya…. I hope you don’t mind i suggest something to you. If you have time, do some Charity work like visit old folks home, children home and animals shelter. Hopefully may cheer and brighten your days. Who knows you might found good hearted and loving life partner like your parent.

    I came across, friends wanted to know more about me and they will asked lots of question. I feel a new friend is just like gambling, if i met a nice friends i am lucky if met the one who like to talk bad and jelous i am in trouble. If can, i will avoid this type of friends because they will spoilt my day. I am more trasure my childhood and old friends.

    Peace & Love

  16. Hi Bob,

    It is always interesting reading your newsletter.
    I can picture everything you write about.
    You will get over the split in your partnership.
    It takes a bit of time, but maybe it had to be.
    You will meet someone new and you will probably be much happier. In fact, I hope so.
    I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world.

    Love and Light


  17. I just read for the very first time your news letter. And I read it all the way through.
    Didn’t think I would b/c it looked like too much before lunch.
    I am looking foreword to the next one.
    A darngood gal.

  18. hey Bob,i am frm india n i jus startd reading ur letters a couple of days back..cz honestly, i dint knw they wud b so interesting..kudos 2 u..
    ur right abt people who try to interfere in our lives..they sound so totally unfriendly tht way..poking their noses into our life..there r some who who actually try to buy your friendship..u know..tryn to giv expensive gifts n all..
    i do want to share m thoughts upon tht quote u gave..ive a frnd “sam” whos supposedly my ‘best’ friend..(well she thinks were bfs anyway)..honestly, i try to be best frnd material all d time(its natural!!)bt somhow i feel shes always discouraging me..while i wz really excited about goin onstage n singing with my group..she wz down there laughin at m with othr gals..i mean hw cud she do tht?!?she keeps telln m im black(im not black!its jus my coloured indian complexion)anyway..so what if she thinks m black..luk at oprah winfrey,will smith n naomi cmpbell!!well m not sad or nythn ..bt i jus cant understand wht to do abt her! shud i tok to her..or jus go tell “bbye”..i dn wanna do tht cz shes gr8 company..weve been together since 5yrs..plz can u tell m what to do??help me..wont you??

  19. Hi Bob ! Good Lord, We thought we had lost you when all of a sudden no newsletters. Being new at the computer, I thought I’d done something wrong -like spammed you or some darn fool thing like that. DUH! How great it was to finally get a newsletters. Both my husband and I are dissabled and live vicariously through your letters. We remember when. Enjoy sending the e-cards to family and friends. Glad to have you back. We wish you a great relationship somewhere down the line. Not too soon ‘cuz then there wouldn’t be so much dilemna (sp) in your life!! {giggle,giggle}

  20. to me beining in a friendship is something very special.If your truly good friends w./ somebody and they know u well enough they should know what pushes your button and what to do and what not to do . Dose that make sense?? Dont do something to P someone off or make them feel weird,It’s invading and a true friend knows when that is happining just by the way u look or your body lingo.I know I do. I can read people and I sense when people are angry or upset,Me i tend to like to make a friend laugh when their mad and that drives them nuts cause they dont stay mad for long afterwards,a true friend knows what to do to lift your spirits and what not to do when it comes to your Bubble.

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