Christmas is about fun and is a fantastic event that draws the family together. I sometimes feel whenever I am going to see the family during the festive season, I’m about to face the firing squad.
I have been the favorite son and sibling throughout my life. I believe in the power of connectivity. I know being in sync with your not-so-perfect relatives is important for your well-being and self-image. I have been busy with work lately and could not reach out to my folks and was waiting for this holiday season with abated breath to make good for all the absence.
What you are and how you see the world depends on how well you nurture and maintain your relationships in the world.
I recently read about how language and its patterns can change the way we perceive a situation or an individual. I have some tips based upon my reading of this new science called NLP that stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming. Even though the name is complicated the science is pretty simple and easy to comprehend and apply.
Park The Ambulance–
Try and question the judgmental comments coming from anyone which are based on long gone past action or generalizations, distortions or deletions of any kind. For example, “You don’t like me.” Countered by “How do you know I don’t like you?” or “It’s bad” countered by “Who says it’s bad?” “According to whom?” These are meta model questions that make communication transparent and free from presuppositions of any kind. It functions as a wonderful revelation which might get you in charge of your emotions and what you believe in so readily but do not overdo it especially in times of heightened emotions. Do not be surprised if you receive a few hilarious looks from your family members. No thought pattern breaks so easily.
Remember: Not everybody has your newly expanded model of the world, sometimes it pays to park the ambulance, get out and walk!
TIP 2: Allow It To Go, Allow It To Snow-
With that said, you may still use your skills more subtly. Getting back together with members of the family after a very long time can be marvelous and may also be annoying. When I was younger and less forgiving, I admit all of the fussing and flapping used to drive me crazy.
However truth is, Mums never cease being mums as my dear old ma likes to remind me. Therefore, when she instructs me for the umpteenth time to keep warm in these winter months and ensure I’m all covered up, nowadays, I let her fuss and relish the fuss. People sometimes can be annoying just because they love you. Let them show you how much!
Empty Box –
Sometimes simple things may bring a smile and cheer for a longer time than sophistication. Aaliyah home-baked the Christmas plum cake which my mom loves and I pocketed the newly purchased bracelet and wrapped the empty box for dad and when he opened and looked questioningly at me I smirked and said, “It’s filled with my love, Can’t you see?” We all laughed and he poured another glass of wine for me and just in time I made him wear the bracelet with my own hands. It was such a delightful moment to see that look of awe in the eyes of your folks.
Have a great and joyful Christmas and New Year!
See you in the comments.